I’m now obsessed with the TV show Million Dollar Decorators.

Why is it so good? Because the clients are the real deal and so are the designers. Money and pretentiousness for days. Last night, one of the featured designers, Martyn Lawrence Bullard, was designing a dining room for Tamara Mellon of Jimmy Choo fame. (That is his own courtyard above. Lush, yes? So is MLB.)

Such great TV.

Then, as I tend to do, I became obsessed with knowing everything about him and his clientele. (Every time I see this word, I say it in my head like Karl Lagerfeld, whom I once heard pronounce it in a documentary. He pronounces it as Klee-on-tell. So great but I can’t bring myself to say it like that in real life, just in my head.)

Back to MLB, he is pretty fabulous. Really. The show is so much fun. So because I love you so much, I know bring you some of his more fabulous residences that he has decorated.

Elton John‘s toilet. Yep. Andy Warhol portrait of La Liz while you whizz.

Elton John’s bedroom. Is ‘I know’ a phrase that Elton says a lot?

 

 

 

 

 

The LA apartment of Cher, who briefed MLB that she wanted to feel like the ‘wife of a Maharaja.’ Which coincidently, is called a Maharani. One word. Like Cher.

Kid Rock‘s kitchen at his retreat. Kids in the Kitchen? Kid Rock in the Kitchen? Meh, both are kinda of lame but I do like this space.

Tamara Mellon’s NYC apartment. I like the floor tiles.

The London bedroom of Tamara’s daughter, Araminta or Minty as she is known to the privileged few. Of course, I would have called her Munty. Because I’m a heartless bitch and that’s why I am not of the U class.

Sharon Osbourne‘s LA pied a terre. It’s super chi chi but Shazza loves it.

The Mexican holiday retreat  of Girls Gone Wild creator, Joe Francis. That’s mucho sunlounges, si? Imagine the debauched business that happens in this pool? ‘Spring Break Live!’

I have more photos but not enough space.

If you want to see more, then head to MLB’s website.

I’m off to move furniture around.

Writer.

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