The Artistic Ghosts

I’m hanging out with my Mum and my ghost Dad, whose energy seems to follow her around the state. She hasn’t been down to Melbourne in a while, as my brother now lives in my spare room in the attic. He has gone coastal and is looking after some hens, dogs and a whatnot, while housesitting for a friend.

So Mum is here, and my ghost dad, and we are doing things. This is a good sign for all involved. After Dad’s death and my brother’s cancer, we were all grounded in fear. There were no good times, just grief and daily visits to Xanadu HQ.

There is a quote by the poet Robert Frost that sums up everything I feel after the storm has settled.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

So it does. We have had a delicious lunch with old friends, and Mum caught up with her close girlfriends.

Then yesterday we went to the National Gallery to view Catherine the Great’s paintings, which was very kind of her to offer, and then Mum and I shared an almond croissant at the cafe and talked about how much Dad would have loved the exhibition.

My dad used to tell me his name spelt backwards was Russian – “Retep Retsrof”, thus he may or may not have been a sleeper spy for the KGB. I just  think he read too many John Le Carre books but either way, he was wandering with us in spirit through Catherine’s collection.

Mum also did all my washing, which was super nice of her and now she’s gone, taking my Dad with her back up the highway.

So life, it goes on. Let it happen, let it happen, let it be.

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Nicebook

I had a break from Facebook a while ago and it was a good thing, but ultimately Facebook rules my life because it’s my bloody log-in to most things. (This is how they get you!)

This morning, after seeing bullshit on my own feed,  other people’s feeds, nasty comments and stressful accusations everywhere about politics, children, money, politics, cancer, health, politics, and worse in-fighting than a cabinet meeting during the Rudd years, I had the realisation I could turn people into acquaintances!

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Then I was thinking that Facebook is now such a big part of friendships/relationships, it’s now another factor in the settlement after a relationship breakdown.

All of the following phrases I have heard from people navigating breakups.

‘Should I unfriend him on Facebook?’

‘But we’re friends on Facebook.’

‘I think she’s blocked me.’

Unfriending is a big step on Facebook and while I don’t hit ’em and quit ’em often, I do have certain rules around this act.

It must only be done under the following circumstances. If:

  1. You have a major falling out IRL and their online bullying sends you to a hospital feeling suicidal
  2. You are wrongly accused of being a sexual predator around someone’s children
  3. You are wrongly accused of being a crack addict
  4. You call someone out for their bigotry and racism and they stand by their opinions
  5. They are having an affair with your partner.

You think I’m funny, yes? You think the list is hilarious and OTT?

All of these them are real. Yes. They have either happened to me or one of my friends/family.

People are fucking insane.

There is a saying in acting that you must be responsible for the energy you bring into the rehearsal space. I try to be responsible for this in all areas of my life.

Is there anything worse than someone who is always grumpy when you see them? Is there anything worse than speaking to crotchety people IRL?

Why do we allow it to continue online?

There are two FB friends of mine who both share jokes every morning on their feed. It’s not even about if they’re funny or not, it’s the act that they bring that I love.

Another friend is a foodie and posts wonderful images of her meals and meals from around the world.

Another friend is a political addict but only posts funny things about the subject and never allows fighting on her feed.

Another friend puts up videos of her cats, which is funny and cute.

Another friend puts up photos of her chicken, which have funny names like – Maggie Hatcher.

Another friend put up inspiring soulful images of hippy shit which I don’t really understand, but I appreciate her energy.

There is a place on Facebook for activism. I see people who are passionate about stopping domestic violence and drink driving and bad education and pushing for same-sex marriage. All of these are valid and necessary. What is not, is the bullshit  that people spew online. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, then don’t say it on Facebook. That’s what blogs are for!

Peace out.

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