Unravelling at the seams

Today’s round table with the BFF was about being in a fashion rut.  We both bore witness to a bad/sad one this week. My theory is that people who are in a fashion rut dress from a time when they thought they were at their best. Their ‘Golden Years’ so to speak. God help you if your best years were in the Eighties. Nothing good came from the Eighties fashion. I should know, it was my time and I have the photos to prove it.

I would hope someone would tell me if I was stuck in a fashion rut but I’m fairly sure they wouldn’t. Well, certainly not women. Have you ever noticed how easily men speak the truth to each other?

“Mate, you are a fat bastard, lay off the pies.”

“Mate, that fucking jumper is so ugly even Bill Cosby would draw the line.”

“Cut your hair mate, you look like Sideshow Bob.”

I occasionally wish women would speak to each other with truth. The times they could have saved me with shiteous fashion choices, bad haircuts and the time I wore blue eyeshadow and sported a gold handbag. But could I have handled the truth? Probably not.

When pushed today by my friend, as to why I said to the person in question that she looked nice, I told her what I knew. Firstly, what she was wearing did look nice (in 2005). And secondly,  I explained that I lied to be polite as clearly this person was in a bad place emotionally. However, in my head I was mentally dressing them with the latest fashion I had seen around and online. *sigh.   (I had her rockin’ an outfit that would blow your mind fo’ real. I mentally dress most of my friends in my mind. It’s a weird habit. Like someone with Fashion OCD. Not that they dress badly but I still like to do it. Perhaps it’s the inner stylist in me begging to be released.)

I thought of the Proust Questionnaire on the back page of Vanity Fair with Carolina Herrera I read a while ago.

On what occasion do you lie?
Whenever I have to … it is called manners.

A classy answer.

Take heed. Be kind. Dress well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Unravelling at the seams”

  1. This post is hilarious. I would love to know how you’d mentally dress me. I am, have always been and will probably always be a fashion slacker. Please say a prayer for my kids. I will no doubt embarrass them as they get older. (HA!)

  2. This reminds me of scene where Jessica Lange’s character was telling Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie regd men’s pick up lines and how much more receptive she’d be if they’d just came up and told her they find her interesting/attractive.

  3. It was a funny movie.

    Michael Dorsey: You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I’d really like to make love to you.

    And gets drink thrown in his face… Hee hee….

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