I realised yesterday, after receiving my edits/suggestions from Penguin, that I have a system/process/methodology when it come to my work. I had a hunch it was so but now it is proven, as it happens every time I receive feedback.
Here’s how it goes:
- Want to give up
- Feel overwhelmed and want to sleep
- Read email about twelve times
- Marinate the suggestions while doing something else (last night was Zumba. I know, I know but I love it)
- Start to see threads of possibility in the ideas
- Discuss with other half endlessly until he wants to stab himself in the eardrums
- Become hopeful mixed with a dash of imposter syndrome
- Stave off actual work until the ideas are brimming over
- Throw myself around because I have ‘work’ and noone ‘understands’
- Get the hell on with it
Now this is not a methodology I suggest for everyone. Only those driven by fear should attempt such a scheme.
As a ‘writer’ who has arrived late to the party, with no formal training, no degree in Creative Writing or the like, I worry I am not enough, that I am an imposter. I am a storyteller not a writer. I do my best work on the fly, running with the creative threads that float around me, catching them and weaving them together. This is why my work needs a director, an editor, a God, a master, an editor.
I am merely the conduit through which the story comes alive, nothing more, nothing less.
Off to work lovers.