I woke up this morning thinking about bitches. I try not to spend time with any bitches but sometimes your path crosses with another bitch and you can run but you can’t hide. There is a list going around the internet – There are 90 Types of Bitches – read the list here, written by a primary school kid. Both horrifying and entertaining. I am defs number 9 and 29 and perhaps 78 on a bad day. God it made me laugh though.
So in the spirit of that I want to add a few more of my own bitches that have encountered over the years:
- The Work Bitch – The one who makes the snide asides about your clothes, your work performance. Make the younger girls cry but sucks up to the bosses, particularly the male bosses. Moves behind your back to usurp you. Makes friends with the men in the office and laughs private jokes with them and alienates the women. Likes to rolls her eyes alot at younger staff and is put out if they are more educated than her so belittles/bullies them. Can be heard saying: “Oh, a Masters degree?” Rolls eyes.
- The School Mum Bitch –The one who makes little comments about your child which are deemed to be helpful but are in fact, just plain rude. Or commenting on your life and your choices even though they have no idea what is going on in your world. Can be heard saying: “You child is always the last one sitting at the party food table, soooo cute…does it bother her being chubby?”
- The Friend Bitch – The one you think is your friend and then pulls out the carefully disguised ‘helpful’ comments about your life or actions or god forbid, your appearance. Can be heard saying:“I wish I could just write the crap you write, pump it out and make lots of money.”
- The Family Bitch – The sister in law, the mother in law, the mother, the sister, the aunt, the cousin, even the grandmother. Every family has a bitch. Can be heard saying: “I wish I was brave enough to dress like you do.”
Happy Monday Bitches!