My Perfect Life

  • I dance three times a week
  • I do pilates five times a week
  • I drink 6 glasses of water a day
  • I wear a size 10-12
  • I have a longer nail bed
  • My hair sits just right every time without coaxing
  • I am always dressed comfortably but stylish and memorable
  • My lipstick never strays onto my teeth
  • My roses don’t have yellow mould crap on them
  • My dog Bert is well behaved and doesn’t make me wish the other one survived instead
  • My kids do what I ask by at least the third round of yelling
  • I have amazing playlists on my iPod that I never get sick of listening to
  • I don’t wake up with a sore back
  • I have a robot housekeeper who doesn’t judge and will not be offended by the farts from various members of the household
  • I have excellent cocktail parties and conversation is witty and smart, with some easy lounge dancing for those so inspired
  • I didn’t shrink my  T.L. Wood fave top
  • My car is always clean and doesn’t have coffee cups rolling about the floor
  • I can have sex when I want, instead of fulfilling unsexy responsibilities
  • I have a swimming pool instead of a shed
  • I have just returned from my Villa in Italy
  • My lemon tree has lemons
  • Friends didn’t leave the party early
  • I got to say goodbye.

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