Mamashita

Obviously J-Lo hits up GASP‘s final sale in Chapel Street. No nasty emails coming her way, despite her being over a size 0.

There is much to be concerned about in this picture. Firstly the presence of Pitbull, the Miami based rapper (note the small ‘r’ in rapper) and J-Lo’s porn star choreography.

Now, I watch a lot of music videos (this fact falls under my ‘don’t ask, don’t tell rule’) and Pitbull is on high rotation. The camera never stays on him for long. There are numerous reasons for this:

  1. The dude is fug fo sho’.
  2. He has badly shuffled teeth
  3. He looks like a boxer
  4. He is a man with his head on his shoulders; meaning he has NO NECK

There’s something about J-Lo that makes me sad now. The thread of her youth is fraying (so is the GASP body suit) and she’s acting out. I get it but it still makes me sad. J-Lo thinks her choca is the only reason we like her. Not true. I loved her in Out of Sight. Wasn’t she so great? She has never quite fulfilled the potential we saw here. Was it Clooney or Soderbergh that got such a great performance out of her? Who knows.

Also Michael Keaton is uncredited in Out of Sight but so f*cking great as Ray Nicholette, a character he played in Tarantino’s Jackie Brown the year before.

*sigh

 

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