Best Dressed

  • Goop in Tom Ford. What tailoring, requires no tinkering…..*insert eyeroll*

  • Emma Stone is a stone cold fox in Giambattista Valli. *boom tish*

  • Jessica Chastain looks like a queen in Alexander McQueen (Yep, I know, I’m stretching the gags here.)

  • Rooney Mara is fab-a-roony in Givenchy. (Yep, it snapped.)

Worst Dressed

  • I think Stacey was so keen to go to the Oscars, that she went in disguise as the statue incase George dumped her at the last minute. Either way, It’s a shocker. Really, really bad. Marcheeeeeesa. *Blah*

  • Anna Faris went as Ellen Barkin wearing Diane Von Furstenburg. Weird huh?

  • It’s Lanvin but it’s badly fitted, the colour is cheap, and the fabric looks like it itchy. That’s all.

  • Kristen Wiig went in a recycled toilet tissue dress by J. Mendel and did her own hair with organic products, hence the definite lack of volume. (I love her but girl, get a stylist and a hairdresser)

  • It’s not terrible but she always does the same thing. Big poufy dresses and old school hair. Penelope Cruz is boring when she attends red carpet events. True story. BTW, It’s Armani Prive.

Undecided and Of Interest

  • I was hoping Princess Hostage of Monaco would be able to make a run for it on the red carpet but Albert had a tight grip on her as ever. She had produce an heir or she is toast. Poor love.

  • Natalie Portman in vintage 1950’s Dior. Pretty. Whimsical. Kinda annoying, like it’s wearer.

  • I think Angelina had thigh chafing in her Versace dress. What else could warrant such obvious posing? No, you’re wrong, it must be thigh chafing. Angelina is serious. She rescues countries and makes movies about war and blood and honey and addresses the UN in Armani and a headscarf. She would never do such posing at the UN, so it must be chafing.

Thanks friends.

Don’t watch the show, it’s beyond boring. Or watch it and fast forward it to the bits that matter. Like Emma Stone doing an Anne Hathaway impression. Gold. Yeah, slim pickings this year.

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