Most of the time I live in an alternate universe, which is ace, since I can down write my experiences, call them novels and get paid for my travels. No, I am serious. I have been thinking about the fabulous oddity which is me and how it takes an enormous amount of self control to stay where I am in my mind. I am always ahead somewhere, in another land. Fuck, as I write this I realise I am crazy. Am I off brand here?
Hey trust me, I am not in some alternate poverty universe. My fantasies, of which I have many, do not involve anything less than amazing. Why would you dream about mediocre?
While thinking about my oddities, some other truths popped into my head about life which I thought I would share with my readers…reader…myself.
- All the girls I knew as a teen, who were super cool and super racy are now losers. I mean that in the nicest way but I have seen where they are at on Fakebook and it’s a morality play being performed live, coming to a computer screen near you. They peaked at 17. It’s okay to be a dork for as long as you like, trust.
- I like to toot my car horn at brides and groom when they sail past in their beribboned cars. I don’t know if this scares them or thrills them. It does both for me.
- I see why writers aren’t good at life now. It’s near impossible to move from the world you are writing about and live in your own reality. No one hangs out the washing in my books, just sayin’.
- There is no marketing strategy that is a sure thing for selling books. It’s a crap shoot.
- When I look at pictures of space my head hurts.
- I like driving in my car with music playing loud and talking to myself. I am an excellent conversationalist.
- Most of the time I am right about stuff. I used to tell people I was right. Now I just wait for them to find out for themselves, this is either ‘having healthy boundaries’ or not giving a shit about anyone else anymore.
- Anxiety turns into stress which turns into depression. Deal with anxiety asap before shit goes down that can’t be cleaned up.
- Housework sucks giraffe balls. Clean sheets are the best though.
- My girlfriends are the best girlfriends in the world. When we are together, we almost create one sane woman.
- I’m not sure there is perfection in the world, but there are moment of peace of mind that feel like how heaven is described. This is what I live for.