Opinion: I Haven’t Been Here Since I Left

Last night I took a road trip across the Yarra for an opening of BFF’s new shop with some of my closest b̶i̶t̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ girlfriends; Denial, Cynical, Sarcastic and me, Judgemental, was driving.

The best secrets come out when in an enclosed space, and last night, with our McDonalds on our lap and champagne anointed tongues,  I spilled a secret. A dirty little habit that seemed too good a bon mot not to share for entertainments sakes.

Then we sang like birds, laughing at each other’s lameness.  The car was peppered with bullshit admissions. One from Sarcastic Bitch next to me and then another from the cynical bitch in the backseat, all the while, Denial laughed hysterically, enabling us on. (I swear, I could have done and have done, some questionable things in my day and she  excuses me, perhaps even condones my performance, you can’ buy a friend like that.)

Oh how I love those bitches. I did voice that I may have to kill them now they know, no biggie, they were okay with my reasoning. They’re good like that.

Night bitches.

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