Mother – 41. Slightly batty with a smartass mouth
Daughter – 15. Slightly smartass with batty eyelashes.
Father – 46. Slightly assy with a smart mouth.
Scene: Living Room. Evening.
It is quiet. The TV is lighting up the room. Three people sit on a couch.
Daughter: Does Tom have a photographic memory?
Daughter: (Wistful) I wish I had one.
Sound of TV show and silence as actors watch unmemorable TV show. The sound of a text message and the daughter reads it on her phone.
Daughter: Hey Jess got really drunk on the weekend. She had to go to the hospital with alcohol poisoning.
Mother: Spew, in every sense of the word. She’s messing her brain with that level binge drinking.
Daughter: She’s an idiot. (Crosses her arms)
Mother: Excuse me, pot calling kettle? Didn’t you get pissed at a party last year and fall asleep at your desk dribbling on a French book?
Daughter: Yeah…well…I’m not talking about me and I’m fine anyway.
Mother: How do you know you’re fine?
Daughter: ‘Cos I know. (Looks ahead at TV)
Mother: How do you know? Alcohol is really damaging to the brain, particularly while it’s still growing.
Daughter: (Her tone defiant) ‘Cos I know that’s all.
Pause as they concentrate on TV.
Mother: You used to have a photographic memory.
Daughter turns to mother, her face incredulous.
Mother: Yes. Until that night you drank. Then it went away.
Mother: How do you know? You’ve got no memory of it because you got pissed. You broke your photographic memory.
Daughter looks to father.
Daughter: Is that true?
Father stares ahead at TV and nods, his face very serious.
And that my friends, is parenting at my house.