Fashion: Label Mabel

Yesterday I walked around Chadstone looking for a present for my daughter’s birthday this week.

For those who don’t know, Chadstone is marketed as Melbourne’s Fashion Capital, which says a lot about Melbourne and not in a good way. Once Chapel St was a fashion destination, now it’s a hot mess of shitty shops and fast food places.

At Chadstone, there’s a section which is filled with high-end stores: Chanel, Prada, Miu Miu, Burberry, Gucci and so on.

I wandered about these stores, marvelling at some of the objects for sale, (there is nothing  like a high-end leather handbag and the craftmanship that created it) and watched the people buying.

I watched a twenty year old buy his girlfriend a $20k bag. Dropping $20k on a bag on a Monday afternoon. Priceless.

I watched a teen and her boyfriend trying on flat shoes at Miu Miu. They didn’t have her size, to her disappointment. The sales girl said she could get them in. The teen exclaimed, ‘No, by the time they get them in, they’ll be out.’

I will leave you to say this a few times in your head.   By the time they get them in, they’ll be out.


At Hermes, I saw they now have Tarot cards for sale. If you can afford Hermes Tarot cards, you don’t need your fortune told, probably you have a fortune already.

At Chanel, Brad Pitt’s condescending face stared down at me, and all I thought was, Chanel are stupid for thinking that women are so easily lured by Brad Pitt. Then I realised, it’s men they want to lure, so as to buy the perfume for the women. If Brad thinks it’s inevitable, then chances are some other dick will think so also. So all over the world this Christmas, women are going to get Chanel No.5 ‘cos Brad told the men they should.

As I wandered about the Chadstone- the Consumer Capital, I mused about the high-end stores and the shopping experience. They need the fashion conscious teenager who is afraid waiting two weeks for shoes will make her a fashion pariah and they need the girl who has saved up for her $480 Miu Miu sunglasses, even though she hasn’t paid her car registration, because they fund the everyday running of the business.

So they peddle hard to the average so they can make the bespoke saddle or the perfect valet stand for $65k for the 1%.

There is a part of me that rails against the supposed ‘exclusiveness’ of the items in the stores, the sunglasses and perfumes, when they are all so readily available anywhere in the world.

Did you see the show Secrets of the Superbrands. It’s compelling TV and makes you wonder about the brands and their ethics. Watch here and never look at your $600 sunglasses the same way again.

You can buy the top pictures from Etsy. Click here to have your own authentic Fake.


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