On Saturday I woke at 4.30am and cleaned the house for a week of house guests, then went back to bed at 10am and slept till midday. This is a stupid routine, I know, but when I wake up, I wake up and there’s nothing to be done but surrender.
When I woke up I saw an article in the paper about me waxing on about Melbourne and in it was the picture of myself and my best friend who died a long time ago, and who I love very much. Then I got lovely messages from my friend’s sister and her boyfriend from long ago. Then I cried in bed for a while because I miss her funny face and that she was the nicest person who really believed in me and told me how I could be something one day and never competed with me, because she was also amazing and together we were going to be incredible and then life turned out to be short for her and I was left here to try and make sense of it all. Alone. And that sucks more than I can explain.
Then I whined ‘cos I was coming down with a bug and so I solved that by watching Pitch Perfect and eating toast while whining in my mind.
I then talked online with an old friend from uni for hours who makes me laugh more than anyone else I know. I kept reading our banter out to Dave who just nodded and smiled as this is his standard procedure in our marriage and since it works for both of us, nobody is changing.
Then I went to bed again where I read a book, occasionally putting it down to play online backgammon, ‘cos I’m glam like that.
Then yesterday I went to an op shop sale, (again, ‘cos I live a glamorous life) and walked out with nothing, because it was all shit.
I did watch a three-year old have a tantrum outside, and his mother informed him that if he didn’t get up she would donate his scooter to the op shop.
So then he got up because he knew everything was crap at the op shop and he would lose his scooter in the sale because it was the only thing worth buying.
Then I watched the 30 Rock finale and was sad because I love the Liz and her gang but it was funny and irreverent and perfect.
I read another book yesterday and planted an agave seedling and played some more backgammon in bed, ‘cos I was still sick.
I wanted tacos for dinner, so I made them with an amazing guacamole and we all ate sitting around the table, and my kids made me laugh and even cry with how freaking smart and aware they are about life and people.
Then went to bed again, which is how I find myself here, writing this play by-play of my weekend. I know it is probably super boring to you but to me it is a vaguely fascinating document of how I waste my weekends and how small my life really is now, which makes me happier than I can ever explain.
Happy Monday peeps.