The Next Generation

I have a theory that every generation get a new version of an old star.

Here are my picks:

pizap.com10.55965836904942991370859907718Jimmy Stewart and Tom Hanks

Both permanent nice guys, the everyman, the funny, warm man who can make you laugh and cry. Both men married to the same woman for a long time. Jimmy was married to his wife Gloria, for forty-five years and Tom and Rita Wilson have been married for twenty-five years.

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Katherine Hepburn and Tilda Swinton

Besides their penchant for white shirts, both women weren’t afraid to be seen as asexual, preferring their brains be judged over their breast size. Also both women defied conventional relationships, Kate with her long-term relationship with Spencer Tracey which never ended in marriage and Tilda who at once stage, had both a husband and her  lover, Sandro Kopp.

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Cary Grant and George Clooney

Besides the gay rumours, which we will hide in the glass closet, these men share a sartorial sense of style and very rehearsed style of speech and physicality that make them seemingly irresistible to women and men. Both men look great in a suit and have an elegance in their performances which covers their lack of real acting chops, but gee they’re purdy, aren’t they?

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Marilyn Monroe and Scarlett Johansson

These blondes with stunning figures that make men drool, have more than physicality in common, both have shocking taste in men. Both hooked up with baseball players; Marilyn married Joe DiMaggio and Scarlett dated Derek Jeter. They also dated self-important wankers; JFK and Sean Penn.

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Audrey Hepburn and Natalie Portman

Stunning faces, limited talent but so beautiful onscreen, you forget this and just focus on the charm. Charm for days in these two. They also married foreign men. No tacky American men for these principled diva’s. Audrey was known for her UNICEF charity work and Natalie is known for her bad vegan footwear and pledge to never harm an animal.

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Elizabeth Taylor and Jennifer Lopez

Yes, there is the multiple marriage connection, but there is also the fact that neither woman gives a fuck about what anyone thinks about them, which makes them the best sort of woman. Both women= insanely beautiful, both in angry marriages with controlling and obsessive men and smouldering, cat on a hot tin roof style. Talent? Who needs talent with bodies like that?

Want to make it in Hollywood?

My theory is foolproof.  Find an old movie star who once owned Hollywood and model yourself on them and their brand. It’s working for these stars, so take your pick and just remember to thank me in your Oscars speech.

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