Which Celebrity Archetype Are You?

I was watching this Goop video this morning of her and Michael Kors, and thinking how much she reminded me of someone I know. My friend is wise and posh, has perfect children, an exquisite home, and knows all sort of things about the best everything. She is also slightly annoying but we know she means well, so we put up with the bullshit and write down her recommendations.

Then I got to thinking about how we’re all archetypes and I ran through the list of my girlfriends and sorted them into their archetypes, and their accompanying celebrity type.

The Intellectual Renegade

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These women are in your world because they’re so smart it hurts, and when they tell you what’s up, you know they’re right. You don’t do small talk with them. It’s straight into the deeper stuff and then some.

They challenge you to look further in life, and as their view of life is from the top of a stack of books, they see life from a different perspective. They know stuff and use anecdotes or articles they have read to illustrate point in their conversation, but rarely use their own life as an example of learning.

These women do good things with their smarts; think Tina Fey, Jodie Foster, Susan Sarandon, Angelina Jolie.

The Style Maven

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This is the friend you take shopping, the one whom you trust to see you in your worst underwear, while struggling with a pair of pants that seem to be labelled incorrectly. ‘I’m a 14 aren’t I?’

This friend knows the designers and styles of the moment and where you can get a good yet cheaper copy of the same look. They know how to order online and aren’t afraid to send things back if they’re not right, and that includes their steak at a restaurant.

They shop in their own wardrobe because they buy quality pieces but ‘merch’ it up with on-trend items. They knew J.Crew before you. They have a Pinterest board that’s better than any magazine you can buy. They will tell you what looks good on you, and though it may seem slightly judging, it’s only because they care…and they’re right.

Think: Nicole Richie, Kate Moss, Anne Hathaway, Bianca Jagger or Tilda Swinton for the truly outrageous.

The Homepsun Gal

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This is the friend you’ve had since first grade. She’s reliable, loyal and knows every boy you ever kissed and more, and still she stays friends with you! She’s kind, great at a party, remembers your kids birthdays and still have time for you even though she’s incredibly popular. She says what’s what, says what everyone is thinking, calls you on your crap, but is fiercely protective, like a tigress…or a sister.  She knows heartbreak and grief and betrayal. She gets what matters, she is your soul sister.

Think: Jennifer Lawrence,  Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Jennifer Garner, Michelle Williams, Katie Holmes, Sally Field.

The Rebel

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Now this is a fun friend to have. She doesn’t give a shit what you think about her or how she lives. You feel braver around her. She wears what she wants and channels her inner rock star. Huge earrings are worn around the house, just because she likes then. She can make a mean cocktail and listens to vinyl. She’s too cool for school and not because she tries, she was fucking born that way, ya hear me?

She reads gossip magazines and Bukowsi, listens to Miles Davis and knows the words to Auld Lang Syne. She always finds treasures at garage sales and stops to help ducks and duckling across the road, holding up traffic and trucks with a single stare and a well manicured red nail.

Think: Amy Poehler, Drew Barrymore, Dita Von Teese, Debi Mazar, Charlize Theron, Bette Davis.

The Queen Bee

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Yes, you know her. She’s the one born with the silver spoon in her mouth and sleeps with a copy of Debretts under her pillow. She knows the right fork to use and how you never hang photos on the wall, unless they are art. NEVER put family photos on the wall, tacky dahhhling, (unless it’s a Bill Henson portrait of Ophelia when she was eleven).

She uses truffle oil on her pancakes and her children are perfectly brilliant at everything. She will help you move your furniture, advise on the placement of artworks, and she will bring you delicious treats to feast on when she comes to help. She is a cut above you yet, she still loves you. You maybe her project, but you’re her favorite one.

Think: Gwyneth Paltrow, Duchess of Cambridge, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Keira Knightly, Nancy Mitford. W.E.

Okay, so which are you? A combo?

Happy Tuesday and may the jelly beans be always your favorite flavour.

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