Best Foot Forward Award – Shoes at the Golden Globes

Goddammit I’m pleased those ugly, stacked platform shoes that make girls looks like they are on stilts are on the way out. They can go out with clogs and any other wooden based shoes. What are we? Dutch? Roll some feckin’ cheese down a hill then throw the shoes down after it why don’t you?

But…so many pretty, pretty shoes at the Golden Globes.

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Look at Emma’s indigo shoes with her Dior pants/tunic hybrid. She was my fave from the red carpet. Steeze for days and she knows it. Girls like Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting must feel so lame in her presence. (BTW, shut up about your wedding Kaley. We’re done caring.)

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Zooey Deschanel in beaded slippers! Yippee.

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Aubrey Plaza in a peep toe.

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Michelle Dockery in a gold satin slipper.

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Zoe Saldana in a nice pointed heel. Hate the pose though.

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Sandra Bullock in a peep-toe.

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I actually don’t know who this Caitlin Fitzgerald is, but her shoe is supporting my argument, so yay her!

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Drew in an okay orange shoe, a little stacked but then so is her guts, so she probably needs the weight/balance ratio for her new baby girl that’s she’s hatching.

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I don’t know who she is, but the shoes I like.

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Are they the same shoes that Elizabeth Moss is wearing? Who cares. Me likey!

And then there was Margot Robbie, of The Wolf of Wall Street. The girl is beautiful, slamming body, but those shoes. Dammit. They are bad. I don’t care if they are Louboutins. They are fug and don’t look like they fit properly. She needs to send them back to Ramsey Street.

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And finally. The worst dress of the night wasn’t Lena Dunham’s which people are insisting on fatshaming her for.

This is Lena Dunham’s dress.

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Did she borrow it from Paula Patton’s Golden Globes dress from 2013?

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Bad for both of them. Yellow isn’t an easy colour to wear. It’s almost impossible to wear in my opinion.

No the worst dress of the night for me was Paula Patton’s, which someone on Twitter described as looking like a venereal disease. I don’t know why, but it made sense. All flaps and creamy and out of control. Someone else called it a botched labiaplasty. I cannot stop laughing, six hours after the show and I’m still chuckling.

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And she wore bad shoes.

That’s it. I’m done. Happy Globes!

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2 thoughts on “Best Foot Forward Award – Shoes at the Golden Globes”

  1. I love the platform shoes, reminds me of my youth when I was too young to wear them early 40’s) and by the time I was old enought they had gone out of fashion – lifes a bitch, now I’m too bloody old to wear them – Thats life I guess

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