Tuesday was my birthday. Usually a day I loathe, for whatever reason. This year I relaxed into it, and let the love flow.
I’m a controlling little Taurus, and I hate surprises. This year I have had no energy to worry about such rubbish. I surrendered to my being here, and that I got through another year.
Dinner with friends on my birthday eve reminded me what smart, clever, contented women I have in my life. No complaining, no bitching or moaning, just conversation about everything in the world and nothing in particular. The best kind.
Years ago, a friend who is a Feng Shui expert, told me that I should never put anything on display in my home that I don’t like, even if it was a gift.
‘Every time you look at it, you will feel misunderstood by that person,’ she said.
Smartest advice ever, for home decorating.
Before I moved house last year, I sold everything that was ever given to me that I didn’t like or was a reminder of a life I no longer inhabit.
Trinkets, jewellery, so much stuff. Some of it was expensive. All of it went. Everything found a home. Letting go of who you were or what people think you are isn’t easy but it must be done if you are to evolve.
When I made the collage above of my birthday gifts from this year, I felt understood. Lovely things that feel like who I am now; art, indoor greenery, teacups, cashmere blankets, candles and flowers.
Yesterday I hung out with a dear friend who popped out a surprise baby in her forties. She does three kids with ease. It was nice to hold a baby again after a long time. I rocked him to sleep, and let him dribble on my striped top. Another friend called in with her little person. We laughed a lot. We’re really funny together.
Today I am seeing one of the best women in my life. She is honestly the funniest, smartest, most talented, brightest people in the world. Everyone who meets her fall in love with her. And the best part? She has no idea the effect she has on others.
We are meeting early to use the day to our advantage. That’s what I love about her. She wants to see me as much as I her, and pencils out a whole day for us.
After months of loneliness, sadness, stress and bullshit, I felt the joy of reconnection this week. Not only to the people in my life, but also to myself.