I just read a very funny article in Tatler about ‘smug’ being the new narcissistic trend that’s overtaking social media.
Oh it’s so funny. Part tongue in cheek, part true. Here are the top ten things to post to secure your smugness, or things to never say online written by Gavanndra Hodge.
- Anything that you would not say in real life to a real person standing opposite you.
- A photograph of a ‘green juice’ you have just made and are about to drink, or of baking victories (baking disasters are a different story).
- Pictures of food your boyfriend has cooked for you (unless it looks inedible) or your haul of Valentine’s Day cards/flowers.
- Anything on a private jet.
- Private hashtags, eg: #theskinnybitches
- Pictures of you working out at the gym.
- Models/skinny girls eating fast food.
- Daily posts on holiday: ‘Day 3 in paradise’, etc.
- Using #tbt as an excuse to put up bikini photos of yourself when you were younger/thinner.
- Any reference to being ID’d if over the age of 25.
I’m going to add to Gavanndra’s list. I have a few bug bears of my own in the social media smugness sector.
Don’t only check yourself into posh restaurants. I know you went through the McDonald’s drive through for chips last week, because I saw you.
Don’t post photos of you and your bloody friends every time you go out and tag each other. We don’t have to see your social life for you to prove to us that you’re busy and in demand. Just enjoy the fucking night.
Don’t post photos of you and some lame arse celebrity. I can’t think of any celebrity I would pose with that’s social media worthy. Maybe Meryl Streep? Or Catherine Hamlin? Dali Llama fo’ sho. Bill Murray? Yep.
Don’t post photos of you saying you are sleeping/napping/meditating that are not selfies, although these are bad enough. Who took the bloody photo then? The magical Instagram photo genie?
No feet with water in distance please. I’m not jealous, it’s just so boasty/tacky/declasse.
Don’t show us your children everyday. Your kids are annoying enough in real life without blocking up my news feed. Use them sparingly and we might be fonder of them.
Yes, yes. I have been guilty of some of these however I becoming more and more sick of myself online. I have left a raft of social media networks and think I will continue this trend.
2014 is about being real. I ain’t got shit to be smug about, none of us do.