The kid made Calavera, or sugar skull cookies for The Day of the Dead or Día de Muertos as it’s known in Spanish. I told her to put the names of dear ones who left the party early on each of them, just like they do in Mexico.
She said no and rolled her eyes. I told her about our friends who have a Día de Muertos dinner with photos of their beloveds at the table.
She made a face and shook her head in distaste. I told her she shouldn’t be afraid of the dead. In Mexico they make fun of death. There is even saying, “Don’t take anything lying down – even death!”
I don’t mind the idea of sharing dinner again with those who are no longer alive not because I have deep soulful questions to ask them but because I just bloody miss them.
You know that aching, breathless pinch that you get when you miss someone? Yes, it does lessen but still, even after years, I get the punch to the gut when I least expect it.
I miss my friend Nic and her Sunday night phone calls from Sydney. I miss my friend Kyra and her absurdity and laughter. I miss my grandmothers both. I miss my mother-in-law’s presence in my husband and children’s lives.
We all miss someone. God it’s so tough but so beautiful to miss someone. There’s a pride in knowing that the love was real and it mattered.
There are so many false connections in life nowadays. 300 friends on Facebook yet you only speak to the same five. 1200 followers on Instagram, yet the same people like the snapshots of your life. I was talking to a beloved friend yesterday who has moved cities and I miss them like crazy. We talked and talked, laughed and mused and advised and generally shared the prickly parts of our lives and the goodness and when the phone call finished, I was filled with joy at the joy that is our precious friendship.
Day of the Dead, Day of the Living, I don’t need a day to remember my beloveds who are gone. I do however need a cookie with my coffee, so I am grateful for daughter who made these exquisite delights, and grateful for those who have passed and the impact they had on my life, and on my morning tea.
Peace out amigos.