Merry Ch(emo)ristmas


The first Christmas without my father was never going to be easy but we managed to get through it with copious bottles of what my friend calls French Nurofen, a single Valium (for me), and the decision to let the day be as chilled as the champagne.

My brother didn’t make it home for the day, as his white cell count is being moody, and the bone pain, particularly in the bone marrow, is excruciating. He’s still the man on the isolation island of the Lymphoma ward.

It was a case of Merry Crapfestmas for him more than anyone else in the family, and he decided to stagger the visitors. My sister saw him yesterday, and I’ll take Mum in today.

On Christmas Eve,  I scrounged up the file of the book I am supposed to deliver in a few months. I thought that at best I had written 20,000 words. What an absolute gem to find I had written 63,000 words. There is a good chance that only 3000 of them are useable but it’s a start.

I haven’t written anything for nine months. This wasn’t a leave of absence that I took willingly but life demanded I work with words in another way.

As I edited my manuscript in bed, I remembered how much I loved to write. To create a cast of characters and patchwork them together in a story, fulfilling my fantasies and dream about lives un-lived is a dream come true.

More than ever this year has taught me that life isn’t like fairy tales but the importance of recording the experiences, of reading other people’s stories and how they navigated the choppy waters and celebrated the calm.

So I will write on through this, and hopefully, one day, my books will ease someone’s reality the way so many books have eased mine.

Happy Boxing Day!







4 thoughts on “Merry Ch(emo)ristmas”

  1. Just keep writing. I have realised just how hard it is to write it all down and bare what you feel. I have tried as I’ve got a fuck load to say. But it’s just too revealing. Your blogs are inspiration. But I am not yet that brave!! Your novels are amazing so when you are up to it write write write! Write that’s your gift xo

  2. Dear Kate, Merry F’n Cancer! It’s such a turd. Well done you for making it through so well. French Nurofen! la de dah 😉 Love it! Does your brother’s room have windows? I’d love to do some weird arse puppet show to make him (and others in his situation) laugh. Anything to break the monotony. Have you seen this guy?  Quarantine Guy, by The Fully Sick Rapper after 150 days in Quarantine |   | |   | |   |   |   |   |   | | Quarantine Guy, by The Fully Sick Rapper after 150 days … | | | | View on | Preview by Yahoo | | | |   |

    I wonder if your brother is creative, like you, and has the energy to be creative in any way… Probably not helpful at all, but just in case…  Wishing you and your family all the very best – especially good health. Hugs Inga x

    1. Thanks babe!I saw that guy on Australian Story. A great use of his time. Sadly my bro isn’t well enough to even watch TV. Such an awful disease. You’re sweet for commenting. Really. It makes my heart swell with the love that’s been extended to my family through this shite time. xx

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