Category Archives: Food/Wine

Having a cold saved my life


Do you like my click bait title for this post? I loathe shit headlines like this. I also loathe inane questions at the end of posts.  I will think of the most inane question to place at the end of this post.

I have also included the worst image I could find on Stockshots. How bad is this? I know my husband is gagging at the sight of this right now. Snot and dog drool upset him. Both are the stuff of his nightmares.

I am sick with a cold, which is so boring,  but I remember a friend telling me that when her mother was sick with cancer, she had mentioned that her mother was never sick. The doctor said that we need to get sick, as it reboots the immune system and cleanses the crap from our body.

Interestingly, my cold started after I had been eating super healthy for a week. Fucking quinoa.

I read this from the book, Your Health, Your Choice by Dr. M. Ted Morter.

“Germs are not the cause of disease. Germs only set up residence and become a problem when your body’s defenses are down. Lowered resistance is a large “welcome” sign for germs. Bacteria, viruses, and micro-organisms are in and around us all the time, they don’t show up just on rainy days or during the winter season “(Morter, p. 11).

A runny nose, watery-eyes, fever, and a miserable cold represents an internal cleansing process. You should be very happy that your body is strong enough to do house cleaning because this helps bring your body back a state of homeostasis (balance). The body’s first line of defense against unwanted or unnecessary visitors is dilution. Diluting substances the body doesn’t need or want renders them less harmful. One method of removing unwanted or toxic materials from the body is the common cold. A cold may make you feel rotten, but the cold itself serves a purpose. Your body is getting rid of waste matter that if left in your body may lead to health problems in the future (p. 15).

Cold symptoms can be brought about by improving your diet too quickly and giving your body more natural and beneficial foods than it is accustomed to having.

Quinoa, I tell you, is the devil’s work. The eldest kid had cooked up a batch and left it in the fridge, so I used it in lots of things, including general controlled eating, which my body isn’t used to. So now I’m on speed Sudafed and Strepsils, trying to get my book finished.

In other news, my dear friend is heading into surgery tomorrow to rid her gut of the canker. She’s on my mind but I feel good about it all. This is her Act Two and when the time is right, I will bring her some quinoa to reboot her innards.

Here is a little chart I made on Act Two in writing, and how it applies to life.  You have to work through to the third act, otherwise it doesn’t make sense. Push through. Push onto the next act.ACT two (1)

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Inane question – Have you ever had a cold?

How to speak wellness

Within the many articles from major media outlets about the state of  ‘wellness’ culture post Bellegate, there are numerous quotes from those who are now under the media microscope. What is apparent is the language that’s used over and over by these so called ‘experts’ is bullshit.

Here is my lexicon of wellness speak and what it actually means.

Game changer – A term used for someone who thinks they are doing something important as opposed to someone who actually is doing something important.

Head scratcher – A problem to be solved, or in the everyday world, dandruff.

Bombs – Truth bombs, inspiration bombs, beauty bombs. Bombs are now used to replace the word hint. Does this mean that every bomb that has been dropped in the Middle East is just a hint?

Hacks – AKA Shortcuts. What’s wrong with shortcut as a word? It’s not cool enough for this digital hipsters.

Warrior – The leader of a ‘movement’ which most people think is bullshit so they give themselves a title to make themselves feel righteous and important, as though they are leading a great war against mankind.

Tribe – The people who follow the warrior blindly, not realising that the term is condescending and that they are seen as worker bees of the Queen Bee.

Community – See above, although somewhat less condescending but certainly cult like.

Inspo – Shortened version of the word inspiration, often seen with a hashtag and attached to an eating disorder.

Authentic –  It’s supposedly a moral compass but where is north anymore?  This word has been abused so much that it means nothing to people.

Follow your truth – A way of saying that you and your actions aren’t to be questioned, because it’s your truth, no matter how it affects others.

Clean living – Not putting anything bad into your body but then lecturing people around you on what to eat and what a cacao nib can do for you.

Pressed juice – Expensive juice that’s been created by pressing the fruit and vegetables between stainless steel plates. It’s also a status symbol, like bespoke plates for your European car.

Natural healing – Avoidance of science and medicine for reasons that the belief the body can heal itself.

Blessed – The belief that a benevolent God or Univeral Force thinks you’re more entitled to good things than others. Apparently luck has nothing to do with where you were born or the privilege you were given through health or education, it’s because you’re special, more special than everyone else.

Superfood – A food that can cure everything, especially cancer. It’s aka with a high content of everything that’s good for you. The cancer claims

Guru – Someone who speaks louder and more confidently than others.

Reaching out – A way of manipulating people into doing what you want due to the helplessness nature of the context.

Foodie – People who think they know more about food than you yet everything they learned was from Masterchef and MKR.

Detox – A process of denying yourself pretty much everything you like. AKA self-punishment.

And there you have the language of wellness. Now you can proselytise from your ivory tower while drinking your pressed juice and sticking a cafe latte up your bum.